Adult children: the secrets of dysfunctional families by John C. Friel Ph.D., Linda D. Friel M.A.

By John C. Friel Ph.D., Linda D. Friel M.A.

It really is envisioned that as many as 34 million humans grew up in alcoholic houses. yet what concerning the remainder of us? What approximately households that had no alcoholism, yet did have perfectionism, workaholism, compulsive overeating, intimacy difficulties, melancholy, difficulties in expressing emotions, plus all of the different character qualities which could produce a relations approach very like an alcoholic one? numerous thousands folks fight with these types of dysfunctions on a daily basis, and until eventually very lately we struggled by myself. Pulling jointly either conception and medical perform, John and Linda Friel offer a readable rationalization of what occurred to us and the way we will rectify it.

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At the age of six, for example, it is possible for us to actually survive on our own, as many children have to do in impoverished countries, although we do not survive well at this age without continued help from adults. At the age of 15, we can survive quite well on our own, at least in terms of meeting basic biological and safety needs. But what about the less obvious emotional needs that we have? The needs that are less tangible but powerful nonetheless? It is most often these needs that don't get met in dysfunctional families, which means that we are launched into, adulthood with a reservoir of unmet needs.

A. have been modified slightly to fit a number of other dysfunctional lifestyles. There is Gamblers Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, Bulimics Anonymous, Spenders Anonymous, Parents Anonymous (for recovering child abusers), Smokers Anonymous, Workaholics Anonymous, Debtors Anonymous and Fundamentalists Anonymous (for people trying to break free from destructive religious orientations), Co-dependents Anonymous and Adult Children Anonymous (for adult children of dysfuctional families).

Her road to recovery has not been an easy one. As with many alcoholics, stopping the alcohol intake itself was not nearly as hard as she thought it might be but the pain of dealing with the underlying dependencies (co-dependencies as we now call them), Page 15 with the tremendous amount of relearning that has to take place and of having to face head-on the emotional tortures of growing up in an abusive alcoholic family was at times more than she thought she could bear. Her husband had divorced her by now, and yet she kept on working and struggling and confronting her fears, angers and hurts.

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